It is said that ” Patience is a virtue”. I wouldn’t know, because I was blessed with so little. And the small amount that I possess is quickly depleted on silly things. In the last few weeks, I have found myself thinking about the fact that I am always waiting on something or someone. In fact, when I think back through the years, I can recall many times when I was forced into a “waiting “ situation that I did not choose or want to be in. If you think about it, I suspect that the majority of waiting situations are tolerated more than
anticipated. As a child, waiting typically involves excitement and much anticipation about something positive that we are excited about..a new toy, a recreational event, a visit to Grandma’s and so many other things. I didn’t have patience as a child either. And no amount of a prodding or repeat directives from any adult, for me to ” be patient ” changed my condition. I suppose it is one of those things…ya either got em’, or you don’t! I don’t. As I got older, I had more waiting…waiting to get married and then the waiting that came with infertility and adoption. The waiting for job promotions or downsizings. The waiting when our kids were sick, to see if it was something serious or not. Of course we waited it out (along with a healthy dose of prayer) to see if our kids would arrive to adulthood as competent, independent adults that could handle their own lives.
We are currently waiting and living out our senior dog’s last weeks/months together. We are always waiting (and holding our breath) to see if our small business will continue to be successful and provide a roof over our heads and food to eat.
And the absolute, without a doubt, most frustrating type of waiting that I have had my entire life and continue to have, is the mind-numbing waiting that I am forced to endure as it relates to my medical problems. I wait for appointments; I wait for return calls; I wait for test results; I wait for copies of tests and office visits; I wait for a correct diagnosis (this is a lifelong waiting exercise); I wait for the discovery of a great compassionate doctor (s) who will care enough to help me; I wait for medicines to work; I wait for referrals to all of the specialists I need to see; I wait for insurance to give pre-determination approvals for meds or medical procedures; I wait for prescriptions and prescription refills; I wait for energy to get things done; I wait for the few good days that I occasionally have; I wait to find the docs who will believe me….YES I wait..and wait…and WAIT. Can you relate? Unfortunately, this waiting thing does not get any easier for me, no matter how long it lasts or how old I get. I have not gotten any better at it, but occasionally I can anticipate a work-around or time-saving measure to save a few minutes of waiting. The one thing that I know for sure, is that I have a serious case of “waiting” and it looks like it’s terminal.